The mystery of the baby who cries with mum but not with dad

In a family where parenting duties are shared, a curious phenomenon can sometimes occur: the baby cries more with mum than with dad. Which naturally raises the question: why? In this article, we explore various reasons why this might be the case and offer tips on how to address it.

Possible reasons behind this behaviour

Before trying to resolve the situation, it is essential to better understand what might be driving a little one to act this way. Here are a few possible explanations:

1. The special bond between mother and child

It is worth knowing that a baby shares a unique bond with their mother from birth, having been carried by her for nine months. One study found that babies can cry in response to their mother's stress, and this innate connection might explain why your little one seems to react more strongly in her presence than in their father's.

2. Mum's scent

During their development in the womb, babies become very attuned to their mother's scent. This familiar smell can therefore play a role in the way they relate to their environment and the people around them. Your little one's tears might simply be their way of expressing that bond.

3. Selective attachment

It is also possible that the situation is explained by the normal development of selective attachment in very young children. Indeed, between 6 and 24 months, most babies develop a preference for one particular person — often the mother — and show their distress when separated from her or when someone else is present. The crying could therefore be linked to this selective attachment.

Tips to help mum and dad

Now that we have explored some possible reasons why a baby might cry with mum but not with dad, here are a few suggestions for managing the situation more effectively:

Share parenting responsibilities more evenly: if dad takes an active part in the baby's life and handles certain care tasks such as bath time, nappy changes, or feeding, he can build a stronger bond with the child and thereby reduce the crying associated with the preference for one parent.

Create routines that are specific to each parent: to strengthen the family balance, it can be helpful to establish rituals that belong to each parent — for example, dad handles bedtime while mum takes care of the morning routine.

Prioritise calm, relaxing moments: if the baby tends to cry more with mum, it can be a good idea to plan soothing activities together, such as a massage or a cuddle session.

When should you consult a professional?

If, despite your efforts, the situation does not improve or seems to be affecting your baby's wellbeing, it is recommended that you consult a paediatrician or a child development specialist. These professionals can offer personalised advice and assess whether your child is experiencing a particular difficulty.

In conclusion, it is perfectly normal for a baby to react differently with each of their parents. By exploring the possible reasons behind this phenomenon and applying a few simple strategies, you can promote a healthy balance at home and contribute to the wellbeing of your baby — and of mum and dad too!