The challenge of rediscovering your libido after becoming a mum

Having a child is an incredible and deeply enriching experience. However, many women face challenges around sexuality when they become mothers. One of those challenges is a decrease in libido or sexual desire.

Why does libido decrease after having children?

Several factors contribute to a drop in libido in new mothers, including:

Hormonal changes: after giving birth, levels of oestrogen and progesterone drop rapidly, which can lead to a decrease in sexual desire. In addition, breastfeeding releases oxytocin and prolactin, two hormones that also have an inhibitory effect on libido.

Fatigue: it is hardly surprising that new mothers are exhausted — between sleepless nights, constant care of the baby, and new responsibilities, there is little time to rest. Fatigue can seriously affect the desire for sexual intimacy.

Psychological pressure: concerns related to the role of motherhood, along with social and personal expectations about how a mother "should" be, can add considerable psychological pressure, further diminishing sexual desire.

Bodily changes: new mothers may feel uncomfortable in their bodies after giving birth, which can make them less inclined towards sexual intimacy.

How to rediscover your libido after becoming a mum?

Although a drop in libido can be frustrating and weigh on a couple's relationship, there are several ways to rediscover your libido after having children.

1. Communicate with your partner

Communication is essential: talk openly about your concerns and feelings with your partner. This will allow you to tackle difficulties together and find solutions that work for you both. Mutual support and attentive listening are important for strengthening your emotional bond and facilitating the return of desire.

2. Take care of yourself

It is important to take care of yourself, both physically and mentally. Try to exercise regularly, even if it is moderate. It has been proven that exercise stimulates blood circulation and releases endorphins, which can boost libido. Additionally, take time to relax and practise stress-reduction techniques such as meditation.

3. Find time for your relationship

Although life with children is often hectic, it is important to find time as a couple. Regularly plan romantic outings or intimate moments where you can reconnect emotionally and physically without interruption. This could be a romantic dinner, a walk hand in hand, or simply spending time chatting and cuddling in bed.

4. Rediscover your sexuality

After having children, your body and sexual needs may have changed. It is therefore essential to rediscover what brings you pleasure and what excites you. Explore new positions, erogenous zones, or even erotic games to stimulate your imagination and rekindle the spark with your partner.

5. Consult a professional

If you have tried the advice above and still cannot seem to rediscover your libido, it may be worth consulting a professional. Doctors, midwives, or relationship counsellors are there to help you understand the reasons behind this drop in desire and to suggest solutions suited to your situation.

Patience is key

Finally, bear in mind that the return of libido after becoming a mother can take time. Every woman is different, and adapting to the many changes that motherhood involves is a process that requires patience and understanding. Do not hesitate to adjust your expectations and accept moving forward at your own pace, without putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.

In summary, a drop in libido is a common issue among new mothers. It is important to take into account the physical and emotional factors involved and to adopt a proactive approach to rediscovering pleasure and desire in your relationship. By keeping these tips in mind and showing patience and mutual support, new mothers can rediscover their libido and continue to enjoy their romantic and sexual relationship fully after having children.