Is breastfeeding tiring?

Breast milk is the most suitable food for newborns — that is a fact! For this reason, the WHO recommends exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months, followed by continued breastfeeding until at least the child's second birthday. As we all know, breast milk feeds and hydrates babies. It is also rich in living organisms that protect the baby. Unfortunately, there is a cliché that has attached itself to breastfeeding and does it a great disservice: the idea that it exhausts mothers!

In 1998, a study looked into the question and was categorical in its findings. Breastfeeding mothers are no more tired than non-breastfeeding mothers. Furthermore, stopping breastfeeding is not accompanied by any reduction in the mother's fatigue.

Why is a new mother tired?

More than breastfeeding itself, it seems that it is the birth, night wakings, and our modern way of life that are responsible for new mothers' fatigue. The pressure from society is such that a new mother is expected to look presentable, get her figure back, keep the house in order, and care for her newborn — all of this, we repeat, after giving birth! This typically involves anaemia, a healing wound, and a hormonal crash that is far from easy to manage. It is therefore entirely normal for a new mother to be utterly exhausted!

In traditional societies, a woman who has just given birth does nothing but care for her baby. And when the baby sleeps, she rests and recovers more quickly. Other women (often the grandmother) take care of running the household — cleaning, laundry, cooking — for several weeks.

Why do people think breastfeeding causes tiredness?

Several factors may be at the root of this misconception.

The first is that in France, breastfeeding often lasts only a few weeks, which means it coincides with the period of greatest fatigue for a new mother.

The second is that oxytocin, one of the principal hormones of lactation, often produces a state of drowsiness. But this drowsiness is not tiring — quite the contrary, it allows the body to relax and rest.

Finally, we observe that some mothers do not eat enough. Whether through lack of time, neglecting their own needs, or in an attempt to lose weight, a number of new mothers regularly skip meals. Yet breastfeeding mothers need on average 500 extra calories a day. If they are not eating enough, they burn more calories than they consume, so it is natural that they feel tired.

How can you feel less tired after the birth of your child?

First and foremost, make sure you eat enough and avoid skipping meals — this is essential for your health.

Today, most grandmothers are working and can no longer take on the household management role during a new mother's recovery. But fathers now have paternity leave! It is often said to be a chance to enjoy the new baby, but above all it is an opportunity to support the mother during her recovery by taking on some of her tasks. Admittedly, it is very short in France. But there is nothing to stop combining it with a few days of annual leave. By relieving the new mother of household chores, she can rest more and recover more quickly.

Sharing tasks and breastfeeding

This may well surprise you, but for a successful, fatigue-free breastfeeding experience, the father does not necessarily need to get up in the night! A word of caution — we will see further on that he is not automatically excused from all night wakings, but for a fair division of tasks, the mother should generally be the one to get up first.

Indeed, if your baby is hungry in the night and is being breastfed, there is nothing the father can do! What is more, a breastfeeding mother has a far more restorative sleep than a mother who is not breastfeeding or than a man! Nature is well designed: the rise in prolactin levels increases the duration of REM sleep. As a result, a breastfeeding mother benefits from a modified sleep cycle that helps her adapt better to a baby's broken rhythms. And let's be honest, it is far easier to simply offer the breast than to have to make up a bottle in the middle of the night!

Of course, new mothers are often exhausted, but fathers (especially if they have had a good night's sleep!) can give them a break by cooking a meal, doing the housework, giving the baby a bath, or taking the baby for a walk when they have a full tummy — giving mothers the chance to rest as well.

As mentioned above, the fact that the father does not necessarily need to get up in the night does not mean the mother has to cope with difficult nights alone. There are all sorts of other reasons a baby might cry at night: a dirty diaper, teething, a blocked nose, or anxiety. We therefore suggest that the mother takes the first wakening, changes the diaper if needed, and offers the breast. Before long, you will be able to tell the difference between a hunger feed and a comfort feed. If the baby is just crying but you can see they are no longer feeding, you can wake the father and go and sleep in another room for a bit. After all, if he cannot feed the baby, the father is just as capable as you of soothing, cuddling, and providing the reassurance the baby needs.

The arrival of a child is often exhausting, particularly for mothers. But with a better distribution of tasks and a suitable diet, a breastfeeding mother may actually be less tired than a mother who is not breastfeeding.